When we talk about the internet, we tend to forget what really popularized it. Before the troublesome, extensive, profile rich communities of Facebook or MySpace. Before HotMail and IMDB and TextsFromLastNight and BarstoolSports. Before .com and .org and .net. Not Napster or LimeWire. Not porn, not email, not Google or Yahoo or MSN. But the one www that changed them all. The one URL that excelled above the rest and drew crowds of prepubescent teens to the screen. The one site that started it all: AOL. And the best part about belonging to the AOL network? The Screenname.
Screennames might be one of the funniest things about ancient internet culture. Once abundant and everpresent, now almost forgotten, obsolete. They were a description of and a name for ourselves that we’d create at our most vulnerable time. A time when we have no idea who we are or who we even want to be. Or maybe, based on what some people chose, we did. There were all different kinds of screennamers, so many different kinds of people and their screennames said so much about them.
There were the ConsistentNamers, they knew their names would never change and they knew their screennames would never change. They were confident in their youth and wanted something that would stick- the BenNott’s and MorganD’s and Sheilz’s. Their screennames will always be a part of them.
They are rivaled only by the MultipleNamers, they liked to mix it up, bring on the heat. Maybe a change a month, change a week if they’re that cheeky. They like to go to the chatrooms, hit you up when you least expect it, make you work- add them to your buddylist, exceed the limit, have to delete someone else. But they won’t get rid of their other names, oh no, they’ll surprise you every time they sign on. The KewlGrl to GrlyLuv to LuvrGrl, the Ballr4Lyfe to Baller241 to BseBl. AOL Variety was the spice of their instant messaging lives.
The Maturers were a little bit different, they have fun in the beginning, maybe BeachBums, or SoccerKids, or Waddamelon’s but they needed to mature, grow up a little bit. They needed a change- but only one. These turn into the JKantas, McKinney33’s, Caitlin2616. Still having fun, but playing with the adults now.
Then there are the wildcards, the WitNamers- the FunGi’s and Yelnats, Fiedodedo and Asparagusluvr. They’ll come up with something witty and smart and they’ll keep it. They know it will still be witty and smart in a few years and they’ll still be original.
The Innovators are the most overlooked group. Sure their names are cheesy and sure everyone will end up using some variation, but these kids paved the way for internet lingo- the Luv2’s and the Sk8r’s and H8r’s. These kids implemented shorthand and pretty much created a new language, probably unknowingly, but still. These kids pushed the limits to how long they could make their name and how short they could make the words. These would be the sentence names, Luv2DncNSng, Sk82uH8onU, BUrSlfLuvUrSlf. These kids had a message and the 16 character limit was not gonna stop them.
The internet changed our lives and AOL defined them. There’s nothing like LOL’ing over something BadKat said about Gr8K8 or OMG’ing about LaxGrl’s drastic change to HeGotGame. When Chat1146785 was at capacity and mom picked up the phone kicking you out of it anyway. When chhhh chhhh chhnnngchhhnnng turned into You’ve got mail. When the ding of an instant message gave you butterflies and the shutting of the Buddy List door brought tears. When you knew the other person’s a/s/l was the same as yours but you both lied and said you were older anyway. The nights staying up until 3 in the morning giggling quietly by yourself at a bright screen, comforted by the fact that there were actually about 10 people on the other side all connected by the Group Chat you named I<3Davey or MomThnksImSleepn. The untouchable days of our youth shaped by the beginning of the internet. Those were the days my friends, those were the days. And all I have to say to those days, in a cheerful but rigid tone, is this one word, Goodbye.
